Irresponsible. That is what I want to be today. Being a grown-up is SO overrated. Today is one of those days that I want to be Wendy and have Peter Pan swoop in and take me off to Neverland. Instead, I am stuck here in reality. The dog had an upset tummy sometime last night, something spilled and congealed in the cabinet, I have two doctor’s appointments to get to today (one is mine), there are two half slices of bread in the breadbox and no milk in the fridge, no fruit to speak of, warning lights about a brake lamp are on in my car, I forgot to defrost meat to put in the Crock Pot for dinner (since I will be in the city at the orthodontist’s office when I would normally be making dinner), and I am beyond behind in my writing goals. All this on a morning after my first good night’s sleep in weeks (my internal thermostat has been malfunctioning at increasingly frequent levels).
You may be thinking that I should be tackling some of these issues (actually, a couple have been taken care of already). You may be right, but at this particular moment, I can’t. Normally this would be a time to reach out to my Mommy Network, but it is early (they have kids to get to school, are in different time zones) and I really can’t spare the time today. So here I am, at the computer, hoping the day will improve.
However, the fact still stands, sometimes, being a grown-up is overrated. Yes, there are things that only grown-ups can do, but there are also things that grown-ups have to do. Right now, I am indulging in a grown-up decision. I am eating pumpkin pie for breakfast and feeling no guilt about the gym membership that has lapsed. An hour from now, I will be in the dentist’s chair, and after that I don’t expect to stop until dinner.
I know that I have to pull myself together. The dog is sitting at my feet, soaking up the negativity (he gets extra clingy when I get overwhelmed) and the clock is ticking down to dentist time. If I worked outside the home, this would definitely be a call for a mental health day. I find it surprising that, though I no longer have small children, I seem to be busier and more tired than ever. I have marveled at friends who started families 10 or more years after we did. How do they have the energy? I am realizing that although young children demand much time and energy, physically, older children require more mental and emotional energy, which for me, at least, is often more exhausting.
I have come to think of my role in the family as a sponge of sorts. I seem to be the person in the family that they all come to when they need to talk. Most days, it is not too much of a challenge. But, when five people have a bad day, on a day that is less than stellar for me, the sponge fills up too soon. (That’s usually when I call in the Mommy Network.) This week, this month, the upcoming holiday season, are all already quite full. Life is too busy. Wishing for some of that pixie dust…